Sooooo the other night I went to “story” in shoreditch which has just been voted best margherita in the world! I had to treat myself because its getting nearer to summer and I’m definitely meant to be dieting. So this was my last hurrah! And what a hurrah it was…absolutely outstanding. I know in the picture it looks overwhelming but trust me this bad boy was lighter than air. It was like nibbling on a cloud, a very succulent pesto coated cloud. I easily could have eaten two of these (fat cunt yeah I know) plus I just loved the atmosphere, it was set out like being in someone’s kitchen, there was only about three tables! I felt like I had been let in on a delicious secret and the lighting was extremely dim, which is a plus because fuck knows I didn’t want to look at my company’s face. Of course if I’m going to stuff my face with pointless carbohydrates then I’m going to go all the way and have dessert, there’s no point trying to salvage dignity now. So I order a brownie which practically screams “nobody will ever love me so I’m going to eat my feelings!” And it tasted incredible. I waddled out of that dinner with a full belly and absolutely no remorse: success.

Sooooo the other night I went to “story” in shoreditch which has just been voted best margherita in the world! I had to treat myself because its getting nearer to summer and I’m definitely meant to be dieting. So this was my last hurrah! And what a hurrah it was…absolutely outstanding. I know in the picture it looks overwhelming but trust me this bad boy was lighter than air. It was like nibbling on a cloud, a very succulent pesto coated cloud. I easily could have eaten two of these (fat cunt yeah I know) plus I just loved the atmosphere, it was set out like being in someone’s kitchen, there was only about three tables! I felt like I had been let in on a delicious secret and the lighting was extremely dim, which is a plus because fuck knows I didn’t want to look at my company’s face. Of course if I’m going to stuff my face with pointless carbohydrates then I’m going to go all the way and have dessert, there’s no point trying to salvage dignity now. So I order a brownie which practically screams “nobody will ever love me so I’m going to eat my feelings!” And it tasted incredible. I waddled out of that dinner with a full belly and absolutely no remorse: success.

Me and my friend Megan going to rosé club the other night. As you can see I’m wearing what resembles a dog collar seen on council estate bulldogs that end up at battersea dogs home. I love it though because its the nearest ill get to understanding what it’s like to be a lesbian.

Me and my friend Megan going to rosé club the other night. As you can see I’m wearing what resembles a dog collar seen on council estate bulldogs that end up at battersea dogs home. I love it though because its the nearest ill get to understanding what it’s like to be a lesbian.

Round 2

Restarting my tumblr a whole year later and hopefully wiser (but probably not)! I have no idea what direction this will go in (probably the wrong one) but that’s part of the fun! I’m just gonna basically give you an insight into my life…And what a fucking bleak life that is. It’s sort of like an ongoing soap opera that’s written by a GCSE student (the politically correct way of saying a retard). The outcomes of everything in my life are very predictable and monotonous! However at times my life can be mildly entertaining and therefore in the same way Taylor swift spreads her legs and writes songs about it, I hope to spread my wings and write blog posts about it. So follow me on my journey to hell! Ahoy! Xoxo